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Post by Shackles on Jun 7, 2010 0:51:16 GMT -5
Get a Magikarp.
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Post by destructin on Jun 7, 2010 1:00:01 GMT -5
Awesome, but fuck, that destructin was almost gone :'c
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Post by Gront on Jun 9, 2010 1:01:51 GMT -5
Our valiant hero proceeds through Cerulean City, triumphant over the Water Princess Misty, looking for a way out of this friggin' city! Oh, the cop conveniently moved over a square. Time to barge into some guy's house! I'm not sure if that even counts as a pun it was so terrible. Honestly, I think this guy might be the most sane person in the whole game. ...did they really need to blow a hole in your back wall to do that? And then we started a staring contest. It ain't yours either, rocketgrunt. You know your outfit makes you look rather conspicuous. Maybe you should wear normal clothes next time you wanna blend in? Nah, fuck that. I want you running through that front door screaming, followed by that shitty cop. This town could use a little more excitement. Ah dammit, now I gotta go return this, huh? Thanks for giving me another fucking errand, Rocket. Hey, dude, I got your TM ba- OH HEY WELL TOO BAD HE GOT AWAY, HUH? Anyways, the route south of Cerulean (the number of which currently eludes me) allows me to MAKE A NEW FRIEND! In the grass we find... ODDISH! Finally, something to teach Bullet Seed to! A thousand feet? That's a fucking lazy Pokemon right there. Anyways, we'll name this one... OMNI! Not cause he's lazy, but because he's black. Because Absorb kind of sucks and bullets are awesome. Anyways, I proceed to grinding Omni immediately, and right as he catches up to everyone else in the party... HOLY SHIT OMNI WHY ARE YOU GLOWING?! In bed? Better than you are. In Pokemon? EVEN BETTER. D, all of the above. Oh, you heard me yelling at that other guy how good I was in bed? Well, I guess I have time to -- wait, why are you going for your Pokeballs? Ah, damn... :/ Yeah, we should have gone with my idea. Was I even looking at you? When I said I was good in bed, I only meant with girls... Actually, I hate fishing, but I have a sneaking suspicion you'll give me something if I say yes. Well, it's a hand-me-down piece of shit, but IT'S FREE! NOTHING GOING ON HERE, JUST TAKING OUT MY ROD. MOVE ALONG. TOTALLY EXPECTED ENCOUNTER! TOTALLY EXPECTED RESULT. I imagine there is some kid who never looked anything up on the internet, who caught a Magikarp and, after reading this description, promptly boxed it, never to be seen again. Shackles claimed Magikarp, and who am I to argue? Speaking of which, you guys should feel free to claim names on specific Pokemon, knowing there's a chance I may never encounter them. FULL PARTY GET! ...but 6 is not enough for me! I WANT MORE! Another female? ASDF. Naturally. Because she's a girl. And has posted in the last EVER. so I started wandering about in the grassy area east of Diglett's Cave about to start training Shackles when I realized: IT'S NEW POKEMON TIME! And it was a girl again. Around this time I realized I had been grinding north of Celadon and had, therefore, killed a Pokemon I could have captured. I don't remember running into anything special, though, so it couldn't have been too bad. I'm now officially out of female names. Just to prove that Des isn't the only one who has a habit of nearly dying. Omni's a badass, too. Do you have any idea who I am? I'M THE JUGGERNAUT MOTHER-FUCKING GRENT, BITCH! Later, swap-training Shackles... Five down, ten to go. SHACKLES, IF YOU'RE NOT THE BEST GYARADOS EVER, SO HELP ME GOD! Bernie? Your mother must have hated you. BOW-CHICKA-WOW-WOW. Wait, there's no girl anywhere near here. There's not even a guy anywhere near here. OH EWW GROSS. Why start now? What, have you just been fighting that guy I just battled? Oh, I'm fucking scared now! Oh, hey! A key item I might actually use! Uhhh... yes? Shit, you didn't tell me you were actually going to check! HEY, FATTY. MOVE. But he didn't. :C Pokemon fan club? My free shit senses are tingling... OH GOD SO ARE MY FURRY SENSES. Let's make this quick... "Fussy"? You're secretly a 90-year-old woman, aren't you? Well, "yes" has gotten me free shit (almost) every time, so let's go with that! ...and when I woke up, he gave me a coupon for a free bike! Sure doesn't ride like a million dollars, if that's what you mean. Ass. FLASHED THE TICKET. THE TICKET ONLY.Uh, guys? I thought the party was on a cruise ship, not an oversized bath toy... Well, this will continue after I figure out how to fit through that tiny little door...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2010 1:34:42 GMT -5
Get yourself a Meowth.
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Post by John12346 on Jun 9, 2010 5:16:51 GMT -5
Oh crud. you guys should feel free to claim names on specific Pokemon I really don't think I have a choice in the matter, but just in case, I reserve Aerodactyl! . . . . . Also, this is just a piece of trivia, but despite the Pokedex in FR/LG saying Magikarp has the lowest attack and speed, Magikarp actually does have a comparably high speed stat for not fully evolved Pokemon.
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Post by Gront on Jun 9, 2010 5:23:24 GMT -5
I'm glad you pointed that out. I hadn't thought of it! ;D
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Post by Psibat on Jun 9, 2010 8:42:08 GMT -5
Well it looks like everyone has their name in one of these. I give up. You even put Briar rose in before me...
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Post by Grimscott on Jun 9, 2010 11:31:35 GMT -5
Pic repeat here. Fixed, thanks!Why would you flash a ticket? The ticket isn't going to get aroused anytime soon. ;3 Well it looks like everyone has their name in one of these. I give up. You even put Briar rose in before me... Because he ended up getting girl Pokemon so he gave them girl usernames, don't you think you're overreacting?
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Post by Psibat on Jun 9, 2010 11:34:43 GMT -5
Well it looks like everyone has their name in one of these. I give up. You even put Briar rose in before me... Because he ended up getting girl Pokemon so he gave them girl usernames, don't you think you're overreacting? I'm just soooooo annoyed D:< It makes me feel left out all that and I kinda forgot to think about genders
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charlie
Skin Making
[M0n:2225]
pwof
Posts: 758
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Post by charlie on Jun 9, 2010 15:24:07 GMT -5
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Post by Gront on Jun 11, 2010 0:21:36 GMT -5
So I noticed this table right next to the boat that had a vial on it with a label of, simply, "Drink Me." So I did and a few second later, I was small enough to fit in the ship! Well shit, I was just looking for a party. Note to self: do not turn out like this old guy. This chick wants me to sleep with her. Hell yeah. Well I'm sorry you're the only person on this entire continent who cares about me barging in and stealing your shit. Fuck you, bitch. The waiter's that french douchebag outside. I look nothing like him. ...and you're just going to tell this to anyone who happens to stumble into your room looking for some experience points? Don't mind me, just dumpster diving in the kitchen. Knowing this is going to turn out to be John makes all these comments more hilarious. Why would someone keep this on the ground in the kitchen? I mean, that's a great ball! Not as good as mine, but hey, we can't all be winners.Just five more levels before Shackles is a murder machine... And now he can train by himself! ...or not... But all you were doing was walking back and forth... Wait, what? The party's already over? Fuck you, Bill. I would have skipped the Misty fight if it meant I could go party! ...well, you know what they say about sailors... (They say they're gay)The first time you asked me this there were 151, but now that we're in FireRed there's 386. Oh hey, John again. This looks suspiciously like a trap. YEAH JUST KEEP RUBBING IT IN, ASSHOLE. Well you must not have battled anyone young recently, cause you look hella old. Again? Hell, why not? Just so you guys know, Des pretty much single-handedly beat everyone on this ship. Most of them in one hit. Also that wasn't even a question, why did you use a question mark?Normally I'd turn this into a sexual thing but I think you're like 12, so I'm gonna let it go. What are you, stupid? Strong, of course! Case in point: Clefairy is rare. Ah. Old people are wise. It's almost as if there was a correlation between these two statements... Hey, I'm just gonna grab this super potion that was lying on your table, okay guys? I NEED AN ADULT! Wow, kind of a harsh punishment for loss. Good thing I'm going to whoop your ass. ...we gotta stop meeting like this... Oh not this douche again. REMINDER: This apparently results in a casualty, as this Raticate is never seen again. FUCK YOU, ILLIDON! I'LL KILL YOUR PETS! No homo. NO HOMO. I escaped that partyless hellhole just in time, it seems. Still, I wish I would have remembered to have sex with that chick one more time... :C Alright, time to train for the Lt. Surge fight. Unfortunately, Shackles is going to be incredibly useless here, so I'm swapping him to train Briar. Oh, and I taught Des DIG. Normally I'd have taught it to Grim, but she's weak to electricity, so she's going to be more or less a last resort in the upcoming fight. RUBY: FUCK YO' TREEEEEE! ...is he afraid someone's going to try to stage a hostile takeover of his gym or something? I dunno, you look pretty fat to me... Inside... his trainers? Ruby! Cut him open! He sounds like a dick. More literally with that "hard" bit. (btw, Surge, I broke your laser wall lol) NOOOO! BRIAR! Right before I really needed you, too! Five deaths so far (SWORKILL is in hell, remember)... This isn't exactly the best run I've had. Rest in peace, guys. Put Shackles back in the party because if I get to him I'm pretty much already fucked anyways. Anyways, this death means I need to grind Des some more... DESTRUCTIN IS NOW TWICE AS BADASS. RELEASE YOUR RAGE UPON SURGE FOR his minion KILLING YOUR COMRADE! RAAAAAAAGE! SURGE. THIS ONE'S FOR BRIAR. ...next time, that is. I'm gonna youtube it again if you guys think the Misty fight went well enough.
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Post by destructin on Jun 11, 2010 0:29:43 GMT -5
Hell yeah!
GOGOGOOGOOO!
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Post by Icebrigade on Jun 11, 2010 0:50:45 GMT -5
IF YOU FIND.... A SHINY EVEE........
I DEMAND YOU NAME IT ICE.....................
or a normal evee... ya know... that works too...
on a non-pokemon related note, This is hilarious.
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Post by drychris1337 on Jun 11, 2010 0:52:13 GMT -5
And the party becomes even more awesome.
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Post by destructin on Jun 11, 2010 0:53:13 GMT -5
No, your name is ice, you should be a ice pokemon, evee should be balto.
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Post by Icebrigade on Jun 11, 2010 1:09:22 GMT -5
Aha. that would make more sense.
Although Ice's powers are electricity/plasma whatever, which is strange considering his name.....
Well a shiny evee is white.... Maybe.....
PIKACHU, YES PIKACHU, HE HAS BIG EARS AND ELECTRICAL POWERS YES
you should name a grimer bloodlust.
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Post by Gront on Jun 11, 2010 1:16:46 GMT -5
Actually, to be honest, I might not get an Eevee. Since I can only get one Pokemon per area (Celadon city being one of said areas), I might pass Jolteon (THERE IS NO OTHER EEVEELUTION) up for Dratini, since the only place I can assuredly get one in in Celadon (by gambling, of course). I'm gonna check the Safari Zone first, because there's a slim chance I may run into one, but Dratini is pretty boss.
Also Growlithe is a dog Pokemon, so it can be Balto, I suppose.
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Post by Zarth on Jun 11, 2010 1:22:33 GMT -5
Is mewtwo in this game? I sorta forgot. WELL ANYWAY. if you run into it, name it Zarth.
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Post by Shackles on Jun 11, 2010 1:45:43 GMT -5
I'm the best Magikarp ever
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Post by Gront on Jun 11, 2010 5:18:34 GMT -5
Lt. Surge battle! I put comments in there, but you might have to go to youtube to see them. Also, I'm considering doing voice commentary for the Erica, what do you guys think?
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Post by John12346 on Jun 11, 2010 16:26:07 GMT -5
For those of you curious, Double Team changes the accuracy of your opponent's attacks as follows, assuming the opponent is using a 100% Accuracy move...
1 Double Team: 3/4 (75%) 2 Double Teams: 3/5 (60%) 3 Double Teams: 3/6 (50%) 4 Double Teams: 3/7 (42.9%) 5 Double Teams: 3/8 (37.5%) 6 Double Teams: 3/9 (33.3%)
So yeah, Double Team gets really retarded after two uses.
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Post by Gront on Jun 12, 2010 0:26:09 GMT -5
For those of you curious, Double Team changes the accuracy of your opponent's attacks as follows, assuming the opponent is using a 100% Accuracy move... 1 Double Team: 3/4 (75%) 2 Double Teams: 3/5 (60%) 3 Double Teams: 3/6 (50%) 4 Double Teams: 3/7 (42.9%) 5 Double Teams: 3/8 (37.5%) 6 Double Teams: 3/9 (33.3%) So yeah, Double Team gets really retarded after two uses. Yeah. Pain in my ass. Moving on, I end up walking to this tree East of Cerulean. Nothing of interest happened along the way, so we pick up here. How many times do I have to tell you ladies? I am too much man for a single woman to handle! Shit, I forgot about that... BACK THROUGH DIGLETT'S CAVE! Well, all of you look the same, so I'm not sure if I actually remember you or if I'm thinking of one of the other untold millions of aides Oak has. Hehe, Oak has aides. Finally, a reward I've actually earned! I'm not even lying this time! Most useless HM in the game. You use it what, once? Maybe twice? Why do people keep leaving useless items in the grass? Yeah, I needed this like FIFTEEN FRIGGIN' MINUTES AGO. Stupid game. Since I'm over here, might as well get Aerodactyl. Since it's a BOSS. You don't have to be quite so creepy... I probably will too, but I have the feeling you're going to give me something, so go on. AERODACTYL GET! Kind of. For what, herpes? No way. Seismic toss sucks. It hurt, but I had to give up Bullet Seed for this. On a lighter note, Omni will now most likely be making an appearance in the upcoming Erika battle. Kind of unrelated, but fun fact: you can teach this move to a Dugtrio. What the hell. Another fun fact: Hikers are apparently from Canada. I'm so good-looking that it's even rubbing off on my Pokemon. Also, how the hell can you see them? They're in their Pokeballs. Also also, stop staring at my balls. NEW POKEMON TIME! SPEAROW! In my normal runs I don't usually like grass Pokemon. I'll typically have one, tops, and it'll rarely stay in my party to the Elite Four. In this mode, however, they are awesome because they can catch just about anything without mercilessly slaughtering it. Now, who's insignificant enough to get boxed indefinitely and me not care about it? Ah, perfect. Actually it's because Kro's a ginger, and Spearow's the closest thing there is to a Pokemon ginger.Pokemon: stereotyping fat people since 1995. Well shitty puns bug me, and I kicked your ass, so fuck off. I don't ever actually use these berries. I'm just a hoarder. Don't patronize me, asshole. I'll punch you in the nuts. Someone else who had to deal with the hiker behind me, huh? Biggest non-sequitur in the game that I can recall. Bitches be crazy. At least they acknowledge the fact that they're creepily everywhere. POKEMON TIME AGAIN! I AM EXCITE. There was like a 50/50 chance of me getting the Voltorb I wanted and I WON! YESSSSSS. By request, although honestly I was gonna name it after McJ even if he didn't request it. FUCK YES. FINALLY. Unfortunately, I have to swap Ruby out because I need to use McJ as a FLASHlight. MCJESUS CAUGHT. SHACKLES EVOVLED. THE END HAS BEGUN.
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Post by McJesus on Jun 12, 2010 1:17:14 GMT -5
AWW YEAH BD
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Candy Biu
Skin Making
Candy fiction[M0n:120]
Sweetest of them all!
Posts: 519
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Post by Candy Biu on Jun 12, 2010 1:32:50 GMT -5
Still waiting for my cameo.
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Post by Grimscott on Jun 12, 2010 1:47:12 GMT -5
Better level up that McJesus a bit. Still waiting for my cameo. Chillax, bro. I'm sure the next time he sees a female or particularly fabulous Pokemon. . .
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Candy Biu
Skin Making
Candy fiction[M0n:120]
Sweetest of them all!
Posts: 519
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Post by Candy Biu on Jun 12, 2010 2:25:44 GMT -5
I know but still.
I WANT TO BE THE MOST FAB POKéMON EVER. ;_;
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Post by Psibat on Jun 12, 2010 6:26:08 GMT -5
I know but still. I WANT TO BE THE MOST FAB POKéMON EVER. ;_; I see a jinx in your future... I hopefully see a psychic pokemon in mine
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Kromax
Landlord
Why are you reading this?[M0n:-2167]
Six pronged dick
Posts: 1,206
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Post by Kromax on Jun 12, 2010 21:28:16 GMT -5
All right you put me in the box, some crazy stuff happens in there, like, like...I hate you Grent.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Jun 12, 2010 23:09:48 GMT -5
Jolteon/PikaRaichu becomes Alteon in interest of his blond douchebaggery.
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Post by John12346 on Jun 13, 2010 2:15:20 GMT -5
Yo Grent, if you somehow fail to capture Snorlax, don't forget: but just in case, I reserve Aerodactyl! Now, for the real reason I'm making this post. Grent, be as careful as you possibly can when you fight Snorlax. That fat piece of crap killed off my entire platoon the first time I fought him.
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