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Post by The Omnipresence on May 30, 2010 4:59:07 GMT -5
So I was playing some X-Com and I had a crazy idea, I was going to start a new game and name my soldiers after some of the users here. Maaaan this was going to be awesome, I could now get every user horribly murdered in the worst ways imaginable show off how awesome we would be if we fought aliens. Just look how awesome our base is, sitting right between North America and Europe(the two most important Continents in this game). Awesome on the inside as well. Anyways its mission time bitches friends! Just a small UFO, should be easy to take care of since all of you are super elite trained soldiers and all, the best of the best from all around the world and all that good stuff. So here we all are, who's who? Hell if I know son, the only one I know is Capt. Chip and that's because he's the only one highlighted. Barely a second off the plane and Chip already spots an alien. Our brave "Captain" tries to shoot him down but misses completely, lucky for him Zarth was able to pick up the slack and shoot him down. (Not pictured here, Zarth being of use for the first time in his life.) Good for you Zarth, with that kind of shooting, you could become one of the best at X-Com. You see that door right there, right next to the wheat fields? Thats where we want to be, because we wanna kill aliens and jack their stuff thats why. Sadly McJ won't be joining us on that trip due to a case of the death. What a shame, he didn't even see it coming, hell I barely saw it coming. I try sending Dessy over to kick some ass be he ends up dying too. What a shame. At least he had the courtesy of dying behind a wall so he doesn't offend anyone with his death. At this point I stopped taking pictures, why? I dunno lol. So hears a cool summary. Captain Chip was kicking all sorts of ass outside of the UFO while Johnny and Grimscunt make their way inside. Upon getting to the entrance of the UFO the door decides to open up and an alien gets acquainted with the business end of John's rifle. John and Grim split up inside the UFO in order to cover more ground. Now you may be wondering, whats Omni, Ruby and Zarth doing. Well Zarth decided he needed to die at some point and did so. While Omni and Ruby were still in the plane, you know just in case... aliens wanted to hijack it or something.... yeah. Anyways, John ends up opening a door and is greeted with plasma fire from two aliens, luckily for him the aliens must have went to the Stormtroopers training facility because they ended up missing him three times at point blank range. John ends up taking one down while Grimscott comes from the other way and shoots down the second xeno. John shows off his luck yet again by opening the door leading to the engine room and coming face to face with another alien which he also shoots down. Back outside Captain Chip was searching for the alien that killed Zarth. Unable to find a trace of him, Grimscott ends up finding the other alien while exiting the ship and kills it. Thus ending the mission. Good for you guise! Grimscott somehow gets promoted to Sergeant, yay? Not bad for your first mission right?
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charlie
Skin Making
[M0n:2225]
pwof
Posts: 758
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Post by charlie on May 30, 2010 10:49:25 GMT -5
how did you get the time to do this
also pick me
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Post by The Omnipresence on May 30, 2010 12:39:06 GMT -5
how did you get the time to do this also pick me Hmmm, how DID I find the time to do this? Meh, whatevers. I'll update this whenever I feel like it.
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Post by Grimscott on May 30, 2010 12:55:28 GMT -5
SO MUCH SENSELESS DEATH Grimscott somehow gets promoted to Sergeant, yay? Not bad for your first mission right? It's called "being awesome". Or, you know, killing aliens and stuff without dying myself. . .
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Post by Gront on May 30, 2010 17:40:15 GMT -5
I assume I was chilling elsewhere. Cause you know I would totally have kicked alien ass if I was there.
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Post by McJesus on May 30, 2010 20:25:37 GMT -5
i'd comment, but i died.
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Post by The Omnipresence on May 30, 2010 20:53:57 GMT -5
If it's any consolation, your death helped determine where an alien was shooting from (it also got Dessy killed but that's cool because I hate the thieving bastard he knew the risks when I signed him up without his consent.)
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Post by Zarth on May 30, 2010 21:14:11 GMT -5
how did i die exactly?
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Post by The Omnipresence on May 30, 2010 22:48:20 GMT -5
You got hit with plasma fire, probably in the chest, causing severe burns that went through your body. You got shot trying to kill the alien that shot McJ I believe.
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Post by Psibat on May 31, 2010 6:11:52 GMT -5
That one alien seemed to be pro .
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 3, 2010 1:43:18 GMT -5
Since I'm too damn lazy to update, have a video while I attempt to overcome it.
Sadly I don't think any of you guys will be jumping into the air and firing hot death from above anytime soon.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 11, 2010 16:20:24 GMT -5
Well its time for me to stop being lazy I guess, gotta go hire some new recruits. Man soldiers sure are cheap. That kind of explains some things... So yeahs I added MVG, Grent, Candy and uhhhh who was it again? Ah who cares. Anyways lets see with the nerds came up with today. Yeah dawg we got lasers now!! PEW PEW PEW MUTHAFUCKA!!! Lets hope we can manufacture them before the next mission. Oh hey the UK loves us! Extra funding is always good. Of course there's no time to spend the money on hookahs and hookers. X-COM, ASSEMBLE!!!You know the drill guys take ass and kick names, keep yer eyes open that UFO could be anywhere. Or right behind us, that's convenient I guess. Not a few steps off the plane and we see a new alien, looks like some giant two legged bull. Anyways the troops get off the plane except for Omni and Candy, you know just in case the aliens try to get the drop on us... not because we're cowardly or anything like that. Unfortunately plasma fire comes out of nowhere and... Well shit, thats ok though we have medi-kits now and if we can get to him in time we can... Daaaaaaaayum, well that's X-Com for ya. I let Candy go pick up his body so we can send it to the vidyagamer family. (Or because I felt like picking up corpses today) Time to go into the UFO, at this point I kept hitting the F5 key thinking it was the print screen key DERP, so I missed some things. Grimscunt, John and Grent go into the UFO on the left side. When X-Com crashes a UFO they make sure to crash them HARD. There's so much smoke it makes it hard to see through it and staying in it for too long could knock you out. I sent Grent over to the corner that you can see at the top of the above picture. He ended up getting killed by a plasma shot out of nowhere. Ruby and Psibat(When did he get here?) to the right entrance of the UFO and had them guard the door, which was probably a bad move on my part because... An alien came out and shot Ruby repeatedly, even after she fell down and died. It was like some kind of movie scene or something, sad stuff, really. Captain Chip was not happy with this at all of course. (Yeah you go do that big guy.) Psibat(Really? Psibat? How did he get here?) goes through the door to go after the killer only to meet up with him face to face. Firing that gun cost 17 time units I think, he's only got 13. Daaaaamn. So of course Psibat ran away using his remaining 13 time units. Amazing enough this worked and the alien didn't decide to cap his ass next turn. Maybe it was because Grim and John were killing everything on the other side of the UFO. Somehow John, for the second time, gets shot at repeatedly and each shot misses him, what a lucky bastard. At this point I thought the outside was clear so I sent Captain Chip and Psibat into the UFO, then an alien comes out of nowhere and follows them from behind, but thanks to my clever plan of hiding guarding the plane, Candy shoots the stalker alien in the back of the head. I send Grim, John, Psiass and Chip upstairs(Stairs? What stairs?) to the second floor. (If you see the alien and are wondering, "What happened?" all I can say is "GRIM HAPPENED" and maybe a bitch at the end of that for emphasis) Not much left to say here kids, John saw an alien and shoots. He ends up blowing up the table too. All I could think of was "typical X-Com", oh and Goldeneye as well. Huh? Two of them are still alive, how did that happen? Oh well, mission is a success guys and with the two living aliens captured we might be able to in terrorgate them for vital information. No promotions today, YOU ALL SUCK TOO MUCH FOR ONE.
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Post by Gront on Jun 11, 2010 22:30:10 GMT -5
I died? It was clearly just a doppleganger, then. I AM INVINCIBLE!
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Jun 11, 2010 22:59:31 GMT -5
Go ahead and add Smokin' Assassin.
I want to see if he lasts one level.
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Post by Grimscott on Jun 12, 2010 11:27:32 GMT -5
(If you see the alien and are wondering, "What happened?" all I can say is "GRIM HAPPENED" and maybe a bitch at the end of that for emphasis) Speaks for itself, really.No promotions today, YOU ALL SUCK TOO MUCH FOR ONE. Says the guy who just stayed in the plane with Candy. You. Alone. With Candy. Suuuuuuuuure you were just "hiding" or "protecting the area". Sure. Yeah. A-huh. Okay. . .
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 12, 2010 12:25:36 GMT -5
No promotions today, YOU ALL SUCK TOO MUCH FOR ONE. Says the guy who just stayed in the plane with Candy. You. Alone. With Candy. Suuuuuuuuure you were just "hiding" or "protecting the area". Sure. Yeah. A-huh. Okay. . . Hey someones got to fly the thing back in case you all die horribly. Those things are expensive.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 13, 2010 18:04:38 GMT -5
I guess I'll put this trailer for 2K's X-com seeing how these are sort of related.
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Post by destructin on Jun 13, 2010 21:31:06 GMT -5
whats with 2k and its 50's style theme lately?
WHERES THE FUTUREY STUFF?
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Post by Silber on Jun 14, 2010 17:00:21 GMT -5
What to expect from the guys who made Bioshock. I'm buying it, though.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 16, 2010 15:35:45 GMT -5
TIME FOR MORE RESEARCH! This lady and gentlemen is the enemy. Or at least one of them as far as we know at this point. I think someone in the science department has a sick sense of humor calling them floaters. It seems the fruits of our labor is starting to bear. As we have finally cracked the secrets of the alien metal their UFO's are made of. Of course this only leads to the next logical conclusion. There was also one more thing we got from all this research. This could be the piece of the puzzle we need to take the fight to the aliens and stop them once and for all, but before we were able to get started we had a problem to deal with. Up to this point the aliens have avoided attacking human cities, but it seems they are responding to X-Com's interference. In other words lady and gentlemen, shit just got real. Unfortunately we were not able to supply everyone with the new personal armor, as we were only able to produce 6 of them before the mission started. Some new guys are accompanying the team today. Smokin' Assassin, Kromax and Grent.(Grent? How did he...? Whatever.) You know for our first terror mission, it was pretty uneventful, save for a couple of surprises. Grim was killing everything(As usual). John was killing aliens like a badass. Hell even Omni got off the plane and got some kills in. Way to go me. Then an alien decided to get all uppity and started throwing grenades. This particular explosion killed Grent(again) and Smokin' Assassin. Somehow John Survived again(How does he do that?) With an injury that probably wouldn't have killed him because John is a lucky bastard was treated by Omni later in that turn. Here is the result of another alien grenade, I think this one was aimed toward Grimscunt, but she was all like "Ahh hell no" and scared the grenade to go to room above her. Blowing the ever living hell out of that room and probably leaving some guy homeless. I hate this screen during alien terror missions, all you hear is plasma fire and the screams of the innocent. Creepy stuff. Gets more creepy when Chrysalids are thrown into the mix. But that probably won't happen to us any time soon. Psibat(aka the guy who can't hit shit either because of low time units or because he's blind) finds the last alien just chilling out over here. Captain Chip decides to walk in front of it and promptly gets shot at, lucky for Chip that alien must be Psibat's long lost cousin because it completely misses at close range. Chip kills him and ends the mission. NO PROMOTIONS. (I think the game is starting to hate us.)
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Post by Psibat on Jun 16, 2010 15:39:11 GMT -5
I'm sure the phrase 'Blind as a bat' is due somewhere in there
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 16, 2010 15:41:42 GMT -5
I'm sure the phrase 'Blind as a bat' is due somewhere in there Hopefully by the time of the next update the other half of your name will start to shine through.
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Post by Gront on Jun 16, 2010 16:10:46 GMT -5
I am totally okay with getting killed each mission only to come back in the next one. In fact, I encourage it. Don't ever let me survive a mission.
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Post by Grimscott on Jun 16, 2010 16:38:26 GMT -5
Here is the result of another alien grenade, I think this one was aimed toward GrimsSCOTT, but she was all like "Ahh hell no" and scared the grenade to go to room above her. Blowing the ever living hell out of that room and probably leaving some guy homeless. All in a day's work!Also, I'm beginning to wonder if that's really Grim (killin everything) and John (can't be killed), or if Ortsa and Astro are pretending to be them. And Grent must be a Time Lord!
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Post by Zarth on Jun 16, 2010 22:18:28 GMT -5
RAISE ME FROM THE DEAD
Or bring in another one of my characters please?
Where was Kromax in all that?
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 16, 2010 22:33:58 GMT -5
Kromax was on the plane, with Candy. Yep.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 16, 2010 23:39:26 GMT -5
So now Balto-Boy has join X-Com, and Grent has somehow dragged his body back from Cairo because I sure as hell didn't tell anyone to take his body back.(The man is cursed I tell ya!) Oh yeah Australia? Lets see what happens when I don't have enough funding to come and save you guys from some attack. So X-Com has survived grenades, flying aliens and dinosaur like things, whats next for them? PFFFT HAHAHAHA! Are you guys seeing this! Look how tiny it is. Grent spots the grey guy in the field, I tell Captain Chip to bash it on the head with a stun stick. If only all missions were like this.(It only gives us an ok rating? I guess for it to be "good" someones gotta die. I swear this game hates us.) Welcome to the fuel source of the future lady and gentlemen. Lets hope that humanity doesn't get dependent on this stuff. We're getting closer to psychic warfare guys, CAN YOU FEEL IT? The month passes quickly and South Africa joins the douche alliance. Cut my funding will they!? Another UFO decides to land, this time with a little help from X-Com interceptors. Was a pretty boring mission, only weird thing is that Grent was able to kill every alien, oh and he didn't die either.
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Post by Zarth on Jun 16, 2010 23:56:36 GMT -5
The calm before the storm i tells yea! Next match is ognig to be a big one... I think....
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Post by Gront on Jun 17, 2010 5:46:27 GMT -5
only weird thing is that Grent was able to kill every alien, oh and he didn't die either. My clones are getting more like the original, I see...
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Post by The Omnipresence on Jun 17, 2010 16:04:40 GMT -5
If I named these updates, I would name this one "Shit gets real". If you guys want we could always say this happened in an alternate universe, in that in our universe we didn't bother to go.
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