Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 31, 2009 18:04:09 GMT -5
Not in the review thread because it's not "Awesome, 9.5 out of 10."
/Thinly veiled insult
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fillerAlright, I know most of your guys are deathly afraid of anything even remotely Japanese, but all I am sayyyyyiiiiinnnnggg…. Is give Tales of Vesperia a chaaaaaaaanccccccccee….
What in the sam hell is a Tales of Vesperia and why the hell should we care?
fillerTales of Vesperia the newest entry in the Tales of (Insert name here) “Series.” I say series, because the Tales games are a series like Final Fantasy is a series. Aside from a few returning concepts and the occasional reference or cameo, there is no continuing storyline in these games. Like Final Fantasy, they’re Japanese RPGs. Unlike Final Fantasy, they’re real time (Not that FFXII pseudo-real time, I’m talking actual fighting here.)
Real time fighting you say? My interest is peaked, tell me more!
fillerFighting in this game is simple. On the world map, you go to the menu and choose four out of your seven party members to fight with, then run into one of the roving monsters on the map (No random encounters at all, and later in the game you get a way to stun the monsters and run away if you suck.) One you’re fighting, you control one character while the other three are controlled by either the AI, or your friend can take control of an additional character.
fillerThis game is Xbox-exclusive, making the controls easy to explain. You automaticly target the closest enemy with the left bumper, but you can select you target by holding it down. Once you’re targeted, you can only move towards your target or away from them unless you hold down the left trigger to free move. Pressing B is a normal attack, which you can and should make combos out of, X is a guard where you take much less damage, Y brings up the menu, and A, by itself or accompanied by a move of the thumbstick, unleashed one of the four special moves you’ve mapped to those combinations. (For those confused about this, think Super Smash Brothers.) Spells are cast like special moves, but they have a charge time, and the spell will be canceled if you are hit. You can also tell your AI party members to cast certain spells and use certain moves. (Very helpful if they’re casting Fireball on the Phoenix,) and don’t expect to be able to spam items, because there’s a one second time period between each use. There are some other fighting mechanics, like Over limits and Fatal Strikes, that you get later in the game, but I won’t explain them here.
Well that sounds nice, but I don’t want to play a game with fun combat but stupid Japanese Emo heroes!
fillerYou don’t have to, because Tales of Vesperia only has one character like that, and he’s six or something. Our epic plot revolves around Yuri (Which happens to be the designated name for lesbian hentai in Japan,) Lowell, and guy living in the slums of the capital city of unnamed empire #2487, after getting washed out of the Imperial Knights for carrying his sword around in one hand, tied up with strings. He deals with the lower quarter’s dam breaking a little too haphazardly, gets arrested, escapes, and finds out that his good buddy in the Imperial Knights is about to be assassinated by mean people. Thus he sets out with his dog and a pink-haired princess who has the hots for said Imperial Knight friend to warn him about the assassination attempt, and gets very sidetracked along the way.
fillerIt doesn’t sound very fun on paper, but playing through the game is pretty enjoyable. There’s a gigantic world that you get to visit every part of, tons of monsters to fight, and overall, about 90+ hours of gameplay. The best part is that none of this will be spent grinding. If you’re a man and fight all the monsters on the main path to the end of each area, plus the odd little side fight to get Yuri to level up one more time before a boss fight, you’ll be able to beat most every boss. Not to say that it’s easy, though. Before you write Tales of Vesperia off as easy, please do me the courtesy of fighting Tison and Nan on normal difficulty first, (Fuck you, Nan, bosses with 80,000 health should not be able to resurrect each other.)
fillerHowever, the best thing about Tales of Vesperia is the little things, like walking through the Tower of Gears and listening to a skit where Yuri and another party member discuss female armor, or watching a six year old beat up dragons with a giant axe, or learning how to cook from a talking carrot. Tales of Vesperia has a serious side to it, but it knows when it’s about to cross the line, and interjects something silly. It’s my favorite game to date, and I reccomend it to your if you can deal with a minimal amount of cheezyness.
Score: SCORES ARE FOR WHORES. BUY THE GAME AND PLAY IT.
/Thinly veiled insult
_______________________________________________
fillerAlright, I know most of your guys are deathly afraid of anything even remotely Japanese, but all I am sayyyyyiiiiinnnnggg…. Is give Tales of Vesperia a chaaaaaaaanccccccccee….
What in the sam hell is a Tales of Vesperia and why the hell should we care?
fillerTales of Vesperia the newest entry in the Tales of (Insert name here) “Series.” I say series, because the Tales games are a series like Final Fantasy is a series. Aside from a few returning concepts and the occasional reference or cameo, there is no continuing storyline in these games. Like Final Fantasy, they’re Japanese RPGs. Unlike Final Fantasy, they’re real time (Not that FFXII pseudo-real time, I’m talking actual fighting here.)
Real time fighting you say? My interest is peaked, tell me more!
fillerFighting in this game is simple. On the world map, you go to the menu and choose four out of your seven party members to fight with, then run into one of the roving monsters on the map (No random encounters at all, and later in the game you get a way to stun the monsters and run away if you suck.) One you’re fighting, you control one character while the other three are controlled by either the AI, or your friend can take control of an additional character.
fillerThis game is Xbox-exclusive, making the controls easy to explain. You automaticly target the closest enemy with the left bumper, but you can select you target by holding it down. Once you’re targeted, you can only move towards your target or away from them unless you hold down the left trigger to free move. Pressing B is a normal attack, which you can and should make combos out of, X is a guard where you take much less damage, Y brings up the menu, and A, by itself or accompanied by a move of the thumbstick, unleashed one of the four special moves you’ve mapped to those combinations. (For those confused about this, think Super Smash Brothers.) Spells are cast like special moves, but they have a charge time, and the spell will be canceled if you are hit. You can also tell your AI party members to cast certain spells and use certain moves. (Very helpful if they’re casting Fireball on the Phoenix,) and don’t expect to be able to spam items, because there’s a one second time period between each use. There are some other fighting mechanics, like Over limits and Fatal Strikes, that you get later in the game, but I won’t explain them here.
Well that sounds nice, but I don’t want to play a game with fun combat but stupid Japanese Emo heroes!
fillerYou don’t have to, because Tales of Vesperia only has one character like that, and he’s six or something. Our epic plot revolves around Yuri (Which happens to be the designated name for lesbian hentai in Japan,) Lowell, and guy living in the slums of the capital city of unnamed empire #2487, after getting washed out of the Imperial Knights for carrying his sword around in one hand, tied up with strings. He deals with the lower quarter’s dam breaking a little too haphazardly, gets arrested, escapes, and finds out that his good buddy in the Imperial Knights is about to be assassinated by mean people. Thus he sets out with his dog and a pink-haired princess who has the hots for said Imperial Knight friend to warn him about the assassination attempt, and gets very sidetracked along the way.
fillerIt doesn’t sound very fun on paper, but playing through the game is pretty enjoyable. There’s a gigantic world that you get to visit every part of, tons of monsters to fight, and overall, about 90+ hours of gameplay. The best part is that none of this will be spent grinding. If you’re a man and fight all the monsters on the main path to the end of each area, plus the odd little side fight to get Yuri to level up one more time before a boss fight, you’ll be able to beat most every boss. Not to say that it’s easy, though. Before you write Tales of Vesperia off as easy, please do me the courtesy of fighting Tison and Nan on normal difficulty first, (Fuck you, Nan, bosses with 80,000 health should not be able to resurrect each other.)
fillerHowever, the best thing about Tales of Vesperia is the little things, like walking through the Tower of Gears and listening to a skit where Yuri and another party member discuss female armor, or watching a six year old beat up dragons with a giant axe, or learning how to cook from a talking carrot. Tales of Vesperia has a serious side to it, but it knows when it’s about to cross the line, and interjects something silly. It’s my favorite game to date, and I reccomend it to your if you can deal with a minimal amount of cheezyness.
Score: SCORES ARE FOR WHORES. BUY THE GAME AND PLAY IT.