Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 10, 2010 20:09:16 GMT -5
EARTHBOUND Created by Me, Caused by You In the distant future, mankind has finally reached its peak. Everybody is equal. There is no government. There are no laws. Yet, in what one would instantly assume to be chaos, there is only peace. Anarchy has become a positive term. With petty squabbles over land and resources out of the way, technology has advanced into what one could only describe as the Space Age. Flying cars are available to all, and emissions are no problem, as everything has become solar powered. If one were to become tired of the Earth, they could simply fly off to any one of the countless colonies in space. In this perfect universe, however, there is one unlucky individual. His name is Johnathan. He is a chef at his neighborhood's restaurant, and he is truly what one would call a master. In recent times however, he has become rather tired of his life, and wishes to move on beyond the stars. His extreme vertigo, however, has kept him from even flying a car. You must help him. -------- Basically, you try to help Johnathan reach his dream of leaving the Earth. Vertigo will keep him grounded until you can help him "cure" it. This is totally open-ended. You just make up the things you assume would be in a perfect universe. I'll narrate. Also note that on occasion, Johnathan will find himself in grave danger, where he may very well die. Take care of him.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Aug 10, 2010 22:38:34 GMT -5
Johnathan should just take some futuristic anti-vertigo pills and fly into space. THERE I JUST BEAT THE WHOLE DAMN GAME WHERES MY PRIZE.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 11, 2010 9:38:06 GMT -5
Johnathan takes the pills, and receives massive heartburn for trying to take the easy way out. It takes a few weeks to recover.
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Post by rabiesisme on Aug 11, 2010 10:01:11 GMT -5
Take the fucking spacebus.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 11, 2010 12:30:13 GMT -5
Johnathan gets on the spacebus. He bails out before going ten feet in the air.
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Post by Grimscott on Aug 11, 2010 12:42:04 GMT -5
Try slowly getting accustomed to being higher and higher up off the ground. They say if you confront a phobia at least 100 times you'll successfully get over it.
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Post by rabiesisme on Aug 11, 2010 16:07:09 GMT -5
Try slowly getting accustomed to being higher and higher up off the ground. They say if you confront a phobia at least 100 times you'll successfully get over it.Too slow, man! Get on the spacebus again then sedate yourself with a dose of some sort of spacesedative that will knock you out for exactly the duration of the trip. You know this because you calculated it with your computer. You won't even get spaceraped in this peaceful universe >:V
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Post by DJGrandPa on Aug 11, 2010 22:53:17 GMT -5
Johnatan takes sleeping pills.
Gets on the space bus.
Stars sleeping.
Awakes in one of the colonies.
Fuck yea.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 12, 2010 1:19:06 GMT -5
Johnathan trololololos his way into the spacebus and takes the sleeping pills. However, they don't immediately take effect. He bails out and falls asleep on the ground.
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Post by Gront on Aug 12, 2010 1:30:56 GMT -5
Have someone else tie him to the side of a hoverbus (in protective gear if necessary).
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 12, 2010 20:16:57 GMT -5
Johnathan has trouble finding one willing to do such a thing to him. Heeventually finds a Mr. Burke that would do such a thing, on the condition that he blow up the bomb in Megaton. Johnathan, having a soul, refuses.
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Post by DJGrandPa on Aug 12, 2010 22:59:59 GMT -5
LoL, this is like playing one of them grabbing arcade machines, you know when you're trying to get a little teddy bear for your girlfriend/sister, but it's near to impossible to actually do it? xD
Johnathan grew some balls and dared to get on the space bus.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Aug 12, 2010 22:59:19 GMT -5
Fine if you going to be like that maaaaaaan.
Have dudebro go to The Damn Therapist so The Damn Therapist can hypnotize him into not being a puss or something.
And if that don't work have Dudebro go to a bar and have him hit on every woman he sees.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 12, 2010 23:06:51 GMT -5
I was just recently playing those grabbing machines. One let go before actually lifting up.
Johnathan goes to the local therapist, only to find that his name is Mr. Burke. Johnathan promptly steps back out of the door. He then decides to grow balls, but has no idea how to go about it.
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Post by drychris1337 on Aug 13, 2010 0:17:44 GMT -5
He buys a gun and rides on top of the bus.
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Post by DJGrandPa on Aug 13, 2010 0:35:09 GMT -5
Me, my sister and my step dad probably waster over 100 Euros when we were in vacation in Spain on one of those, I think we got 5 bears/whatever
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Post by Gront on Aug 13, 2010 2:36:20 GMT -5
He grows balls by seeing the local Ballologist.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 13, 2010 12:02:24 GMT -5
The local Ballologist, Ms. Henrickson, is testing a new Ball-Growth serum. She needs a volunteer. Does Johnathan accept?
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Post by DJGrandPa on Aug 13, 2010 12:15:04 GMT -5
Yes, he does.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Aug 13, 2010 12:40:48 GMT -5
Johnathan is injected with the serum. His balls are now bigger! It will wear off in a few hours.
Unfortunately, bigger balls do not cure his vertigo.
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Post by Grimscott on Aug 13, 2010 14:00:44 GMT -5
JOHNATHAN SHOULD USE HIS BALLS TO BOUNCE FROM PLANET TO PLANET WITH EASE
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Post by rabiesisme on Aug 13, 2010 21:34:34 GMT -5
JOHNATHAN SHOULD USE HIS BALLS TO BOUNCE FROM PLANET TO PLANET WITH EASE
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Post by drychris1337 on Aug 13, 2010 22:03:52 GMT -5
And while he does that, he purchases a sawed-off shotgun....to kill random enemies he finds.
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Post by Gront on Aug 14, 2010 3:58:13 GMT -5
JOHNATHAN SHOULD USE HIS BALLS TO BOUNCE FROM PLANET TO PLANET WITH EASE THIS. I do it all the time.
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