jallo
Apprentice
Posts: 246
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Post by jallo on Apr 17, 2008 19:16:15 GMT -5
I will basically NEVER update this, but hey, these are fun.  The Green Ribbon
There was once a girl named Jenny, Jenny was a regular girl just like all the other kids in her class, accept she always wore a green ribbon around her neck. There was once a boy named Alfred. Alfred liked Jenny, and Jenny liked Alfred. One day, Alfred asked Jenny, "Why do you always wear that ribbon?" "It is not important." She says. "But I need to know!" "One day." Years later, the two fall in love and get married. "Now can I know why you wear the ribbon?" 'Not yet, my husband." Years went by, and soon the two were old. Jenny had become sick, and the doctor told Alfred Jenny was dieing. Jenny called Alfred to her side and said, "You may finally know why I wear this ribbon. Untie it and know why I never told you all these years." Slowly and carefully Alfred untied it, and Jenny's head fell off. Yeah, you read that right. |
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Post by McJesus on Apr 17, 2008 19:46:03 GMT -5
Shocking.
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Apr 17, 2008 19:47:13 GMT -5
Sigh... A story of true love, sadness, and subliminal messages.
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Post by Grimscott on Apr 17, 2008 19:58:48 GMT -5
This is a pretty old and well-known story.
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jallo
Apprentice
Posts: 246
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Post by jallo on Apr 17, 2008 20:02:28 GMT -5
Well I am King Tut.
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Post by Grimscott on Apr 17, 2008 20:05:51 GMT -5
Lies, shenanigans and poppycock!
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Post by Ele Mantel on Apr 17, 2008 20:06:09 GMT -5
Lies, shenanigans and poppycock! lololo cock. |
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Post by Grimscott on Apr 17, 2008 20:07:52 GMT -5
Lies, shenanigans and poppycock! lololo cock. Saw it coming. |
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Post by rabiesisme on Sept 15, 2008 11:11:17 GMT -5
The Adventurer Once upon a time, long, long ago, when kings ruled the nations and you could still slap your kids around, there lived a nameless adventurer. He had scaled many mountains, bedded many maidens and slain many a dragon. Yet he sought more. He traveled far and wide, searching for more challenge, more wealth and more maidens. During his latest travel, he had ventured inside a large forest. He had followed the path like some kind of chump until he reached a fork in the road. He remained there and pondered his move for hours on end. Hours. I shit you not. So he wasn't the brightest, but dammit he could joust! And his lance wasn't something you could just glance over, either. Ho ho ho! The night fell across the land and our brave adventurer was still deciding which route to embark on. Suddenly, a mysterious old man appeared behind him. What made him so mysterious, you ask? He was alone at night in the woods, even though a gang of rapist marauders was on the loose. These guys didn't care where they put it! They would take your innocence and your clothes, leaving you with nothing but a twig to protect you against bears, who, mind you, also didn't care where they put it! That was a dark day in all our lives, indeed. So anyways, mysterious old man pops up. "Choose the right path, young adventurer! It leads you to a sacred tree with seven magical fruits that grant whoever eats them no less than seven different riches!", The old man spoke. "...what?" "You get rich and stuff by eating the fruits, now go!" And go he went. While our hero traveled the rightest of the two paths, the old man lurked after him. He looked up at the full moon and laughed diabolically as lightining struck behind him, even though there were no clouds. He might be up to something. After getting confused a few times on the very straight path, our young adventurer finally reached the sacred tree, and, as promised, there were seven fruits. The hero ran gleefully at the tree and picked one of the fruits from it. He held it up at the sky while yelling hysterically for some reason, after which he brought it down and took a bite. What he didn't know, was that the mysterious old man took the faster left path to the tree, beat him there, and replaced the juice in the fruits with a sleeping potion! How he did so was not the point, point is he did it! Our hero fell to the ground in a deep sleep. Seeing this, the old man jumped out of some nearby bushes and did the old point-'n-laugh. He dragged the adventurer to his cottage, surely with the intent to touch him from the inside. At the end of a short, but arduous journey, the pair arrived at the old man's home, with our hero still fast asleep. They ventured inside, after wich the old man threw our hero in the corner and tied his hands together, possibly to make the impending rape session more kinky. Oh, he's good...The old man left our hero bound and asleep in the corner, and put a giant pot on a fire. He filled it with water and started throwing spices in it. Is he going to rape the adventurer at all? I mean, he's bound and everything. Jeeze... Little did the old man know, that our hero had taken an anti-sleeping potion potion prior to leaving on his quest! 'Why?' Why not?! Yeah. So he woke up, pulled a dagger from his boot with his teeth, and cut the ropes with it. Without alerting his captor, he snuk up to him and stabbed him in the back with his dagger. The old man, unphased by this maneuver, turned around and started laughing. "Foolish mortal!", he said "now you shall bear witness to my true form!" And with the force of an angry, sex deprived bull, he pulled the skin off his face and revealed not one, but two firebreathing skulls under it! The adventurer gathered all of his courage and grabbed the two headed, old, mysterious, firebreathing skeleton man by the collar. "Bear witness to THIS" our hero said, and he threw his nemesis in his own cauldron! In a swift move, he placed the lid on it and held it down! The lid, combined with the hero's downward push, proved too heavy for the old man, who boiled alive in the pot! Exclamation point! And the soup that was cooked from that pot fed no less than a thousand orphans for a thousand days. The end. |
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Post by McJesus on Sept 15, 2008 11:26:39 GMT -5
Terrible. 0/10
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Post by rabiesisme on Sept 15, 2008 11:39:26 GMT -5
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Sept 15, 2008 14:32:39 GMT -5
Many nuns were banged.
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Post by kevmcg1 on Sept 17, 2008 11:34:48 GMT -5
Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place, was a silver screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it..... he was screwed.
All the years of growing up was real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house.... and thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a
swami in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was
thrilled. The next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought
a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a
giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come.
The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery.... and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. Durin g the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window,
bearing in its mist, a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments,
the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed...... and his butt fell off.
The moral to this is:
'Don't screw around with things you don't understand........ you
could lose your ass.'
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Post by Ele Mantel on Sept 17, 2008 15:21:05 GMT -5
Omni: Hey grimscott
Grim: Hey omni.
Omni: Hey grimscott wanna fuck
Grim: Kay
*UNFUNFUNFUNF*
And thus omniscott was born.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Sept 17, 2008 15:32:14 GMT -5
Omni: Hey grimscott Grim: Hey omni. Omni: Hey grimscott wanna fuck Grim: Kay *UNFUNFUNFUNF* And thus omniscott was born. Well I don't go, *UNFUNFUNFUNF*, during sex. Im like a green beret I slip in quietly, tear it up and get my buddies out of there. All without making a sound. |
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Post by Ele Mantel on Sept 17, 2008 15:54:55 GMT -5
But grimscott does.
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Post by The Omnipresence on Sept 17, 2008 16:06:17 GMT -5
You should see the sounds she makes when I'm done. |
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Hat Salesman
Hero
Hey hey mama, said the way you move[M0n:-6104]
Well, hello there.
Posts: 3,131
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Post by Hat Salesman on Sept 17, 2008 21:24:20 GMT -5
How do you see sound.
EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE! D:
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Post by The Omnipresence on Sept 17, 2008 22:32:36 GMT -5
How do you see sound. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE! D: You become a real man when you learn how to see sounds. |
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Purplecat
Lurker
A Sign Of Things To Come[M0n:250]
Magical Feline
Posts: 170
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Post by Purplecat on Sept 18, 2008 0:23:48 GMT -5
all of these stories are... well, strange :\
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Post by Grimscott on Sept 18, 2008 20:46:39 GMT -5
Well I don't go, *UNFUNFUNFUNF*, during sex. Im like a green beret I slip in quietly, tear it up and get my buddies out of there. All without making a sound.Lies, he's a screamer. |
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Post by atlasttrulyaghost on Sept 25, 2008 17:06:55 GMT -5
Well I don't go, *UNFUNFUNFUNF*, during sex. Im like a green beret I slip in quietly, tear it up and get my buddies out of there. All without making a sound.Lies, he's a screamer. Well der, the birth of Omniscott was FAR more epic, tragic, and morally satisfying than some 40-second chatroom skit. |
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Post by madvideogamer on Sept 25, 2008 18:45:44 GMT -5
One grim night Omni and Grimscott were enjoying chocolate strawberries by the fireplace watching Youtube videos on their flat-screen Hi-Definition televison. The mood was right, koala stuffed animal, strawberries, fireplace, and music, it was time.
In a dim room was lit with candles and the couple were in bed sharing baby photos until..
KR-KOOM! Grimscott's green diamond duplicated with a smaller green diamond, and there he was, with the eyes of his mother and the body of his big man.
And thus, the birth of Omniscott.
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