|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 3, 2008 13:14:41 GMT -5
 While reviewing my origin story, (http://sonofbalto.proboards92.com/index.cgi?board=lovingthisstuff&action=display&thread=1198886761) I noticed that there is a gap. My story ends with Blue leaving his tribe, but never explains how he reached the thread. So i'm doing a whole seperate story. Beggining directly after my origin story, detailing how i found the thread, the few fights i had, the lock, and how i found this fourm. Here goes! ;D Chapter 1: With some difficulty, Blue climbed down the mountain path, ever on the lookout for cracks and drops that could send him falling to his death. His goal was the town he could see at the bottom of the mountain. After an hour, Blue made it down to a gate, the gate was huge, covered in many intracate designs. Blue could read the carved phrase "L33T g8 of teh INTERWEBS" on the top. The gate was closed, with no apparent way of getting through. "HELLO?" Blue yelled. "Who's that?" came the reply from the top of the gate. The speaker was a man dressed in armor, carrying a gun. "I'm Blue, from the mountains." Blue said. The man jumped down to the ground, right in front of Blue. "From the mountains? Good, then you can't be a spammer." said the man. "A Spammer?" "Yeah, little buggers come down the fourms and scream 'I IZ DA L33T PWR!' and crap. So we built this gate to keep them out. "So can i pass through?" Blue asked. "Sure, just go through." "I have one question." "What?" "Where am I?" The man cast a glance around, then turned to Blue. "You, are on the internet." END OF CHAPTER 1
|
|
|
|
Post by SwordKill on Jan 3, 2008 13:30:39 GMT -5
pretty good! I hope to see more of this! a couple of things to remember:
Every time a different character speaks, start a new line.
Never, I say NEVER EVER ramble. keep to the plot.
Give the characters personalities depending on thier fates. If you introduce a new character that you hope to kill off, make him a douche so people think 'I don't like him, I bet he dies'.
|
|
|
|
Post by rkthrilla on Jan 3, 2008 13:44:47 GMT -5
wait, blue....the GHOST  ? |
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 3, 2008 13:45:57 GMT -5
wait, blue....the GHOST ? No, there are different Sheepshifters, each a different color. Blue is the Sheepshifter i normally draw |
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 3, 2008 15:16:40 GMT -5
 Disclaimer: The following events are fiction. I did not actually get into a fight with Flash Portal users. Chapter 2: Flash Portal One day after passing through the Gate, Blue arrived at the town he saw from his mountain. It had a smaller gate then the one he had seen at the mountain base. But without the L33T speak on the top. This gate bore the inscription. “FlashPortal.com” Seems like a perfect place to start looking for that Dojo. Blue hailed one of the villagers play blackjack by the gate. “Hello? Can you direct me to the best place to get some information?” A villager turned, glaring at Blue with surprising hostility. “You’re one ‘o them ain’t you? Don’t ask too many questions, unless you want to end up OWNED.” The villager turned back to his game. “Bar’s that way.” He muttered. Blue walked into the dingy bar, and was extremely unimpressed. The bar was dirty and pathetic. The only thing that seemed promising was the number of patrons. There were at least 100, and they all seemed talkative. Blue proceeded to the bar, ordered a glass of data, and watched the flash playing on the mounted computer. (The Ultimate Showdown) “You a traveler?” asked the Bartender. Blue nodded. “Can you answer a question?” Blue asked the bartender. The Bartender nodded and Blue leaned in. “Can you tell me where to find the MS Paint Brawl?” The Bartender’s eyes widened, and he spoke one word, filled an amount with hate and anger normally thought impossible. “NEWGROUNDER” Everyone in the Bar turned to glare at Blue, several lifted guns out of their coats. Oh Shit. Thought Blue. The Patrons charged him. It was a fight.
|
|
|
|
Post by SwordKill on Jan 3, 2008 16:26:01 GMT -5
Awesome, sounded a bit like a classic western!
|
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 3, 2008 16:35:55 GMT -5
Awesome, sounded a bit like a classic western!  My intention |
|
|
|
Post by spawner on Jan 4, 2008 10:29:18 GMT -5
I like your storys sheep, keep them comeing !
|
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 4, 2008 11:33:32 GMT -5
;D
Chapter 3: Newgrounder
The Villagers surronded Blue, penned him in a cage of bodies. "You're a Newgrounder, we don't like those around here." the bartender told Blue.
"Newgrounders have some bad habits, all the Newgrounders who've passed through had a nasty habit of... DIEING!" A patron jumped from the crowd, the knife is his hand racing toward Blue's neck...
The knife never reached him. Before the bartender even spoke the word 'Habit,' Blue was already looking for an attack. He reached up, grabbed the man's knife hand, and jerked it down. This stunned the man, allowing Blue to whip around and throw the man into the crowd.
Blue stood up, assuming a fighting stance, facing the crowd.
"You keep mentioning the place called 'Newgrounds,' where is it?" when nobody told him, he sunk deeper into the stance. "Okay then, A fight it is!"
"Wait!" Someone cried out. "North side of the village! There's a flash with a link in the discription! you can take it to Newgrounds!"
"Thanks." Said Blue.
L8r
Blue had arrived. The tip he had gotten was right. He had found the Flash with the link, and he had taken it. Unlike Flash Portal, which was a large town, Newgrounds was a sprawling metropolis of Flash, Audio, and Fourms. Even if the elder sheep and the Flash portal villagers hadn't told him, Blue would have instinctivly known. This was where Steve had gone.
THIS was where he could find MS Paint Brawl.
|
|
|
|
Post by ₦ῒ↑ʁo on Jan 4, 2008 14:19:57 GMT -5
your story is awsome. i like it. karma for you.
|
|
|
|
Post by kevmcg1 on Jan 4, 2008 14:29:38 GMT -5
Nice, your stories just keep getting better and better.
|
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 4, 2008 20:33:17 GMT -5
New chapter coming soon tommarow, it's gonna be long...
|
|
|
|
Post by kevmcg1 on Jan 4, 2008 20:36:02 GMT -5
New chapter coming soon tommarow, it's gonna be long... Well I for one can't wait. |
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 4, 2008 21:20:11 GMT -5
New chapter coming soon tommarow, it's gonna be long... Well I for one can't wait. So this is how Monocrom feels... (VANITY ;D) |
|
|
|
Post by spawner on Jan 8, 2008 17:23:55 GMT -5
Your story's are great, we cant keep up giveing you Karma this much !
|
|
|
|
Post by Maybe Might Not Be Moneybags on Jan 8, 2008 17:31:57 GMT -5
 Sorry for not updating, i've been busy. (Lazy.) I promise you a new chapter by the end of the week.
|
|
